Sound medical advice given to me by my physiotherapist this week went along the lines of: ‘You have trouble sleeping because of pain in your back right? So why not drink a beer or two before going to bed. It’s better than vicodin.’ So listen to the MD’s (Masters of Drunkenness apparently) and down a beer before going to bed so you can sleep tight, and make your wife more interesting.
I could use a drink. Well, not literally just ‘a’ drink.*
*Drinking copious amounts of booze will not actually make your wife more interesting, it will just give you sufficient brain damage to make you think her bearable. It is not recommended by the D&S show, unless you are in the presence of some really boring people, in a monestary, or just about to make it with a fat chick.
Drinking while pregnant may cause the spawn of Satan to exit your placenta sack prematurely.
Please consider loved ones and family before turning to a life of alcoholism, and if you can coherently listen to their complaints about vomit on your cat, you clearly haven’t drunk enough.
-Michael
