Archive for June, 2007
Fair Play
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
Here at the Dan & Steve Show, we continue on our roll of hilaritude, proudly bringing you a game of Lord of the Rings Monopoly rife with danger, fraught with peril… can our heroine, Chris, finish his faux railroad set with Shadowfax, or will he become a damsel in distress, owing many farthings to Sauron, the flaming vagina on a phallic tower? Read on, brave Dan & Stevedores, to find out what fantastical adventures await our favorite… Chris.
Of course, I recognize the possibility that you may be the type of Dan & Stevedore who reads the strip first. Or maybe you’re the type that reads what’s written about the strip, then the strip, and then finishes the newspost. Or, perhaps you’re the kind that only reads the strip and subconsciously notes that “boy, all the words wrapping around the picture really balance the negative space on the page” which would make you, I guess, an & Stevedore.
I did the digital layout for this strip on the train back from Rhode Island using only the touchpad of my laptop since the left-click is broken. Let me inform you all… it was hard to make the sequence where Michael leaves through the window under those circumstances.
In less pertinent news, I saw Die Hardest Wednesday night and I was not disappointed. There were some things I thought they could have done better to show how John McClane has changed and how he hasn’t. I would have liked it if the villain had more of a part; I liked that character but I didn’t feel like I got the opportunity to understand why he was doing any of what he was doing.
Also, the science in the movie is… really awful. I mean, really awful. The only good thing I can say about the science in that movie is that they used a lot of command line prompts on the computers instead of going completely freaking overboard with obscene GUI’s.
So, good job on the command line, but, guys… you can’t upload things. Like… chairs. It’s not a physical process in that way. You can’t upload guns to your camera, then control them remotely, and shoot people with your new magic camera-gun. You also can’t, seriously, hack the NSA with a PDA running on the Palm OS hooked up to a rubber keyboard.
If you can get past that level of terrible computer science, the movie was a lot of fun and I would totally see it again. I’ll probably buy it. It was, in my estimation, better than Die Hard II but not as good as Die Hard or Die Hard with a Vengeance largely because the villains in the bookends were so… so awesome. Seriously, every time I think “Die Hard with a Vengeance is my favorite,” I remember how awesome the first one was.
But, this one had Justin Long who is always fun and Bruce Willis beating the snot out of a woman and I can really appreciate seeing that. It’s… it’s a rare kind of scene.
In closing, I really wish that at some point the villains had called technical support. That would have been hilarious. Also, Schadenfreude.
On the whole making this sketch was a fun process. All apart from being told to ‘Make my hand look 25% more menacing’. ?? I may not have the acting prowess of Mr Bruce Mclean, but there’s a point where the director needs a kick in the nuts to remind him he is dealing with us humble humanoids, and not remorseless acting machines.
Words to live by:
Die hard.
Eat fast.
Sleep extreme.
Sex slow.
Cookie cream.
Oh well. It’s getting close to noon. I’m off to get some extreme sleep.
To be fair Michael has the most menacing hands in the business. I’ve worked with better…but not many.
In the meantime:
dance like everybody is watching, and throwing jelly doughnuts at you.
Love like you’ve been hurt so many times you only have sex for the sake of revenge or money.
Sing like…no on second thought don’t ever sing….ever.
And, you know, the fourth thing.